I met this guy on spring break when I was 18. He was kinda cute and I was drunk, so we boned that night even though he was almost a decade my senior. He was really awkward in bed, fumbled around a lot and then busted his load like a minute into sex and pretended he didn’t, telling me he just “needed a little break.” Ichalked it up to drunkenness, first-time jitters, whatever. We traded numbers and he set up a date and hit it again, this time sober. This time, he came 10 seconds after he entered me. In fact, he really didn’t even pump at all, he just entered me and then announced: “I am cumming.” We kept this bad sex routine up for another month or so until I couldn’t take it anymore. After I broke up with him he admitted he was actually 34, not 27. I told him to never call me again, but he stalked me online for a year.
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